A Bunch of Pictures! Overcoming my Social Anxiety

_dartheuGuess who’s me? There’s a young lady making fun of my unique style too!

This is a picture from about a year ago. There was a wonderful Snapchat piece where I disappear in the background as soon as I see what’s happening too but everyone “forgot” to send me this one. I imagine the reception was so good they wanted to protect me from the corruption of fame… yeah… that’s what probably happened…

I show signs of severe social anxiety since I was a tiny NB, but as it is common for many people suffering from multiple mental illnesses, the visible alarming signs were treated with menacing severe speeches of oppression that went on until my meltdown (a.k.a. B.P.D.’s remarkable entrance). Going forward to the more-or-less-grown-up current me (it’s a point of view thing), all those signs came back or were enhanced like Power Rangers going Megazord, some in extreme ways, like my need of anonymity online and the huge panic of the idea of appearing on pictures in social media engines.

Before that I was on Facebook and Instagram like practically everyone around me (although I discovered people thought my Instagram page was “weird”, how preposterous!) and to be honest, I don’t miss these two. Too many people trying to convince themselves or others, I have no idea, that their lives are advertising-level perfect and gosh, quite a daily amount of hate. I always felt uncomfortable with the whole impact that this ends up having in our pretty brilliant minds but it was nothing I worried about…

Today this is one of the challenges I’m still facing but I gathered the motivation and decided to write this post with pictures. They’ll certainly illustrate the struggle better than words. Oh my, I gotta post this before I regret, it’s coming… I’m feeling it… let’s do this!

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2014, when I still had a social life – me at a nightclub (memorable night by the way).

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Early 2017 – trying to overcome my fear with baby-steps – selfie training. Since I’m not on facebook and company, I didn’t post this pretty much anywhere.

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Ironically enough, I love photography.

And if you’re still here, last but oh my dear Sagan, not least!





well…

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This is me, grrrr! Nice to meet you! Picture from a few months ago.

Take that S.A.D. you b*tch ❤

Thank you so much for taking the time to check out this post, feel free to leave your comments, your feedback means the world to me!

Take care,
Love,
N.B.

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